Well. I just listened to The Young Veins' new song and I have to say, because I wouldn't be me if I didn't: that song gave me suuuuuch a Brendon/Ryan vibe. I'm sorry, I had to say it :)

So I wrote my friend a porny little fic involving a threesome and I'm thinking about changing the names to the Panic boys. In my head I was writing it as them, so might as well, huh? The girl was Brendon (lol) and the main boy that the story was mostly in the perspective of was Ryan, then Jon was the horny little fucker whose idea this all was, haha. Of course I'll have to basically rewrite it because, yeah, I wrote it in half an hour and it sucked. But! This may just end up being the first slash fic I post. I'm excited :)

Wow, I haven't posted in forever. Nothing's been going on, really. School sucks as usual but it's getting better cause of a certain boy :)

So, this girl in my Foods class took my notebook of writing (my slash writing!!!) and read it all and told me it was good. I was like 0_0. I thought she would've freaked out, but I guess not. That was pretty cool. Now she wants me to finish the HS fic so she can read the rest of it, haha. That story's coming along pretty well.

So that's it, basically.
Have some Brian Molko!!

it's sad when you realize that at that moment in time, you wouldn't care if you died on the spot without any warning.

my dad's in the hospital again. I basically grew up in the ICU ward, with my mother working there and my father always being there. we're not sure if it was another heart attack yet. he's already had three. he can't have another stint put it, so if he needs surgery, it's open heart and that's extremely risky. i'm worried, incredibly so.

Kanye West is a douche bag
And I'm epically sad that Cobra didn't win :( x1000

Well as many Panic/Young Veins fans know it is Ryan Ross's day of birth! Now I am about to get mushy, so be prepared.

I can honestly say that I love Ryan. He is an amazing musician and lyricist and inspires me so much. Although he has made a few stupid decisions (but who hasn't?), I look up to him and consider him one of my heroes. He's gorgeous to say the least and dresses like he's a time traveller from the 60s. He can play guitar like a beast and his singing...well he's gotten ALOT better! I remember listening to concert videos where he'd be singing backup and cringing!! Now he's the lead singer of his new band. He's come along pretty far in that aspect :)

Jeez, I remember when they were first starting out and he was what? 18, 19 years old? Now he's 23. It's pretty weird to think that he's only seven years older then me. He's my sister's age. Yet, I look up to him like people look up to Jon Lennon.

I'm kind of at a loss for words right now, but I could say so much more.

I love Ryan Ross and his strange clothes, his long fingers, his tattoos, his weird brain, and his gorgeous smile.
Happy Birthday RyRo.

I'm almost done with that suicide fic. Only took me three months, lol. I gotta send it to my beta so she can proof read it, then I'll make sure it doesn't sound completely stupid then I'll hopefully post it.

School's gotten somewhat better, I guess. I mean, it's as good as school can be, and that's not saying much. :)

Well, nothing more to report really.
I have many fic ideas floating around in my head, and I hope I can write them all!

xoxox

I swear to God, I'm just about ready to join a convent.
Fuck boys.
Spinster-hood is sounding better and better every day.

Some of my posts will my f-locked, now, since I ask a few of my friends to read some of my writing on here. But it's mainly just about guys I like anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

Today was the first day of school and it really, really sucked. So it may not have been the worst day of my life, but it still was really, pretty terrible. I hate LC with a fiery burning passion and most of the student body as well. You can all burn in hell, fuckers!

Ok, sorry for my rantings :)
xoxox

:(
I can't write and it's sad. Like, I physically cannot write. It's terrible, I can't think of anything to happen next and it's not even very far in the story.
I'm contemplating scratching it and starting a Sex Slave AU that's been floating around in my head
Cause PATD fandom does not have enough in my opinion. :)
But this fandom needs more Stpebrother AUs, too!!!! Gah, hopefully I'll be able to write again.

I NEVER REALIZED THAT THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS IN THIS PICTURE BEFORE?!?!?!?!



ryden totally existed. at least in my mind it did. :)

So while going through my camera, I noticed that I have over 150 pictures from my New York trip on it. I went to New York last summer. Lmao. I don't know why they're still on there, becasue I'm pretty positive that they're also on my computer. I have some nice pictures on there, though. Photography is somewhat of a hobby of mine, but I'm not that serious about it. I know the basics to make a picture look nice, but I'm not a fantastic or even a great phtographer. I'm good. My mom sometimes still asks me if I want to go into Photography when I'm in college, but I always say no.

If for some reason I do not become famous, I do have my back-up plan. When you're dealing with fame, you should always have a back-up plan, though. I intend to go to college either in Chicago or at Ball State in Indiana (my techinical homestate, even though it's more like I live in Chicago) to become a high school English teacher with a minor in Creative Writing. It always was my dream to become famous, but not many people know that I don't always mean just musically. I think it would be amazing to become a writer or novelist, if you will. At college I plan to get my Masters in English with a teaching license, so that I'm fluent in the ways of English (wtf am I talking about I sound ridiculous, lmao) so I can still be a writer but also be a teacher.

I don't know why I talk about this sometimes, haha. I just like to ramble. That's basically what this journal is for, me to ramble.
xoxox

I wrote this a long time ago and thought I'd post it.

( I Remember )

So I have really long nails, right? Ok, well, today I was jokin around with my mom and she was trying to make me smile by tickling me cause I was kinda crabby and I jumped and accidentally scratched my face so now I have this huge red line going from my nose to my chin. It hurts like a beast. :(
I have nothing more to say, really. My life's been uneventful. I work constantly and read my Summer Reading books. School starts on the 19th. :( It's quite depressing, I feel like I haven't had a summer.
Well, that's all to report.

OH and I love Change and New Perspective equally! I didn't realize I haven't said anything about that yet. I love this new Panic sound and I love The Young Veins.

xoxox

HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME HOW HOT VAMPIRE SEX IS IN A FIC!?!?!?!
i am now an addict.
Ryden vampire sex......-sighs-
WTF guys?!?!

lmao xD
off to find more vampire sex...

I get to see Harry Potter tonight! I'll give a full review once I'm back and make a proper post.
xoxox

GAAAAAH I need to know if he likes me!!!!!!!! But I'm too chickenshit to bluntly ask him. It might help with the confusion if I know, though!!!

-facekeyboardsmash-

alksfhobasioBfosfibcascfn

My chocolate milk tastes like melting chocolate ice cream.......yuuuuuuuuum.

So there's a couple things that have been on my brain the past couple days.
#1: So there's this boy....haha, yeah, I know, that's like the most cliche starting phrase to every story. ANYWAY, there is this boy. He's my friend. He has been for a little while, not long, but it's not like we just met, either. Well, for this whole dilemma I'm going through to make sense, I think it should be said that when it comes to guys, I pretty much always know my feelings about them the second I have a conversation with them. I NEVER have "confused" feelings about who I like or don't like. So, why the hell am I so confused over him??? I can honestly say that I have no idea if I like him just as a friend or more then that. A little while ago, I liked him as more then a friend, but he had a girlfriend, so I got over it, which I can do pretty quickly. Now that he doesn't have a girlfriend, and I'm techinically "allowed" to like him, I'm lost as to what my feelings are. I mean, I don't know if he likes me, and to be honest, something tells me he doesn't, so maybe I should just ignore this confusion? I don't know, my brain keeps spinning from this topic.

#2: The Oh Glory Demo little clip???? OHMYGOD. I seriously died when I heard it. Brendon's voice....just ♥ _ ♥ . Can I has him, pease? Oh and is that Spencer's voice in the background or still Bren's? I was trying to figure that out, but I still can't. I've literally listened to that 30-seconds over 30 times since 11 this morning. God, I love it so much and I can't wait for the album.

#3: The whole Ryan coke deal. -Sighs- This is a hard one for me, because honestly, I still LOVE Ryan to death. He was always my #1 (with Bren as an extremely close 2nd) and, I don't know. I want to be mad at him, I really do, but I can't. He's made some big mistakes, and I just hope he can stop all this drug nonsense and get back on track. I am very excited to hear his and Jon's stuff, but I won't be able to if he's fucking DEAD. Ryan and Brendon are seriously my idols and my heroes, and I can't even imagine how hard it would be for me if one of them died. I really hope he just stops and gets help if he needs it.

Well, onto happier stuff!
#4: So far, I have yet to start writing again, which is kinda sucky because I had been writing quite a bit of the Stepbrothers story and I had really wanted to post it. And then there was a suicide fic that I won't post for a looooooooong time because suicide fic is the last thing we all need right now, haha. But I'm still writing and I hope to still post my first slash fic.

And that's all. xoxoxox